Episode 1
Pilot
Episode 2
Big Flappy Bastards
Episode 3
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Episode 4
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Episode 5
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Episode 6
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Episode 7
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Episode 8
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Episode 9
Phase One, Complete
Episode 10
Merry Thanksgiving
Episode 11
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Episode 12
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Episode 13
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Episode 14
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Episode 15
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Episode 16
That Was Saliva, Alan
Episode 17
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Episode 18
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Episode 19
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Episode 20
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Episode 21
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Episode 22
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Episode 23
Just Like Buffalo
Episode 24
Can You Feel My Finger?
Back Off, Mary Poppins
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
A Bag Full of Jawea
Go Get Mommy's Bra
Bad News from the Clinic?
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Yes, Monsignor
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
A Lungful of Alan
Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów (Get Off My Hair)
Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Smell the Umbrella Stand
Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
It Was 'Mame', Mom
A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Does This Smell Funny to You?
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Madame and Her Special Friend
Something Salted and Twisted
Santa's Village of the Damned
That Special Tug
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
My Tongue Is Meat
Ergo, the Booty Call
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
And the Plot Moistens
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Arguments for the Quickie
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Working for Caligula
Who Is This Vod Kanockers?
The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
A Pot-Smokin' Monkey
A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Apologies for the Frivolity
Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Release the Dogs
Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Kissing Abe Lincoln
Walnuts and Demerol
Castrating Sheep in Montana
Don't Worry, Speed Racer
That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
My Damn Stalker
Young People Have Phlegm Too
I Merely Slept with a Commie
It Never Rains in Hooterville
Smooth as a Ken Doll
Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin'
Prostitutes and Gelato
Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Media Room Slash Dungeon
Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
City of Great Racks
Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Help Daddy Find His Toenail
The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Kinda Like Necrophilia
Meander to Your Dander
A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
The Soil Is Moist
Winky-Dink Time
Rough Night in Hump Junction
Look at Me Mommy, I'm Pretty
Fish in a Drawer
If My Hole Could Talk
Waiting for the Right Snapper
Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Pie Hole, Herb
Damn You, Eggs Benedict
The Flavin' and the Mavin'
A Jock Strap in Hell
It's Always Nazi Week
Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Pinocchio's Mouth
The Mooch at the Boo
He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
The Devil's Lube
Thank God for Scoliosis
I Think You Offended Don
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
I'd Like to Start with the Cat
She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
My Son's Enormous Head
The Two Finger Rule
Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Above Exalted Cyclops
Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth
Baseball Was Better with Steroids
818-JKLPUZO
Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
For the Sake of the Child
Give Me Your Thumb
Untainted by Filth
Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
That's Why They Call It "Ball Room"
Warning, It's Dirty
Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Yay, No Polyps!
Crude and Uncalled For
Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
Tinkle Like a Princess
I Found Your Moustache
Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
I Called Him Magoo
Gumby with a Pokey
This Is Not Gonna End Well
Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Twanging Your Magic Clanger
The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Springtime on a Stick
A Good Time in Central Africa
Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Dead from the Waist Down
Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
That Darn Priest
Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
People Who Love Peepholes
Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Nine Magic Fingers
A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
The Squat and Hover
Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Thank You for the Intercourse
Frodo's Headshots
A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
What a Lovely Landing Strip
One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
A Possum on Chemo
The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Not in My Mouth!
The War Against Gingivitis
Palmdale, Ech
Grandma's Pie
Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
Why We Gave Up Women
The Straw in My Donut Hole
Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
I Changed My Mind About the Milk
A Big Bag of Dog
Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Ferrets, Attack!
Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Something My Gynecologist Said
I Scream When I Pee
One Nut Johnson
Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Welcome to Alancrest
Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
The 9:04 from Pemberton
Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
Another Night with Neil Diamond
My Bodacious Vidalia
Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Nangnangnangnang
I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
This Unblessed Biscuit
Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Bite Me, Supreme Court
Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Welcome Home, Jake
West Side Story
Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
The Ol' Mexican Spinach
A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Glamping in a Yurt
Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Alan Shot a Little Girl
Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Here I Come, Pants!
For Whom the Booty Calls
A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
Boompa Loved His Hookers
Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Of Course He's Dead (1)
Of Course He's Dead (2)
